


Crustless Quiche

by deityparody



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Brotherly Bonding, Bruce is kinda jerk, Cooking, Cooking Lessons, Don’t copy to another site, Fluff, Gen, Light Angst, One Shot, Swearing, but he means well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 06:16:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17523461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deityparody/pseuds/deityparody
Summary: Tim teaches Damian to make crustless quiche.





	Crustless Quiche

By all rights, Tim should be getting ready for patrol yet Bruce had benched him for a ‘low-grade fever’.

_“It’s only 99.5!”_

_Bruce raises his eyebrows. “Still missing your spleen?”_

_Tim splutters.“Do you mean have a grown it back since I lost it in the desert trying to find you, Bruce?” Bruce flinches giving Tim a savage feeling of pleasure and guilt.“No, it hasn’t magically grown back since then.”_

_“Then no patrol for you,” Bruce replies sipping his coffee._

That’s how Tim found him in the kitchen, humming to himself, trying to figure out something for dinner.Alfred’s on annual holiday for the last week and Jason had gone off somewhere with Roy which left Tim as the only responsible adult in the house to make dinner.

It’s not that Tim doesn’t know how to cook.Cooking, for all intensives purposes, is just chemistry.Tim could do chemistry in his sleep (and has once or twice; don’t look at me like that Dick). 

Mrs. Mac had been the first one who had taught him anything about cooking, long before he could ever dream that Alfred would.She had, when Tim was ten, showed him the very basics of cooking.Like how to make Crustless Quiche.

He was not however on Jason level of cooking; couldn’t dream to make the delicacies that Alfred whips up with ease.He could, however, make more than a bowl of cereal without adult supervision ( _cough, cough Dick._ ** _Bruce_** _.Don’t think for a second that Alfred doesn’t know exactly who are responsible for those scorch mark on the ceiling of the kitchen_ ).

Moreover, Tim never had the time to cook.

Tim was about to raid the freezer, _again_ , when there was a small scuffling noise from behind him.Glancing over his shoulder, Tim suppresses a sigh to see Damian standing at the entryway.

“Damian.”

“Drake.”

Going back to the fridge, Tim waits.Over the years, Tim has found that it's better to wait for Damian.  
Closing the fridge that embarrassingly empty, Tim turns to the pantry.

Damian scowls.“Why are you in banging around my Father’s kitchen?”

“Since when is Bruce allowed into the kitchen?”Tim shifts around some of the canned soups, looking.“I thought Alfred banned him after the last pancake incident.”

“Tt,” was the only response Tim got (or was honestly expecting).

Damian shifts his feet, uncomfortably.He was, unused to this unspoken truce that he and Drake had enjoyed since Father’s returning.Except for the occasional snip ( _which were always Drake’s fault)_ , Drake had proven himself to be quiet… _satisfying._

“I’m trying to figure out what to make for dinner,” Drake finally answers him.“Jay’s out and I’m hungry.”Drake closes the pantry door before turning to face him.“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for patrol?”

Damian turns red mumbling unintelligently.“Sorry, Dami, missed that.”

“Father benched me.”Damian repeats, glaring at Tim like it was his fault.“Apparently, I’ve ‘ _not taken the proper time to fully understand what it means to be Robin_ ’.” 

Tim winces. _So that had been what that’s what the screaming match had been about_.“Sorry.”

“Tt.Why would I need sympathy from you, Drake?”

Drake drew back as if Damian had slapped him.Drake stares at Damian for so long it starts to make Damian uncomfortable.

After a long, uncomfortable moment, Drake finally replies in a low voice, “because I’ve been on the receiving end of a few of those ‘ _You don’t understand what it means to be Robin_ ’ speeches during my time as Robin from Bruce.And they fucking suck.All of them.Each and every one.Even if you didn’t deserve them, especially if you did though.”Drake pauses, like he was contemplating what to say next before shaking his head.“Come on, we’re both benched tonight.Let’s make some dinner and we can watch a movie.”Drake bends down to open the cabinet where Pennyworth keeps the pots and pans.

Damian bit his lip.“I’ve never—I’m not interested in making dinner, Drake.I’m sure you’re more than competent do it yourself.”

Drake straightens up, arching an eyebrow.“Really?Last week you said I couldn’t make toast without burning down the kitchen.”

“After witnessing Father and Grayson’s attempts in the kitchen, you’ll have to forgive me for being hesitant.”Drake snorts.“Now, however, I’m sure you can make toast without burning down the kitchen.”

“That almost sounds like a compliment, Dami.”

Damian sniffs.“Do not grow accustom to it.”

Tim suppresses a snort.“Wouldn’t dream of it.Come on, Dami, I could use your help with this.”Tim lifts up a pot that he pulled out.

Damian mutters something that Tim can’t hear ( _again_ ).He’s starting to think the little bugger is doing this just to mess with him.

Losing his patients, Tim snaps.“Look if you don’t want to help that fine just clear out—”

“It’s not that, Drake,” Damian spits back, “it’s…I don’t know how to cook.”Damian says like he’s confessing to a secret shame.

Tim waits.“Okay… _so_?” 

Glaring, Damian snarls, “ _so_ , Mother and Grandfather thought it was beneath us to learn something as mediocre as _cooking, so I never learned how_. _So,_ when I arrived here,” Damian motions around the room, “Pennyworth does it all. _So_ , despite any interest I may have in the subject, I have not been offered the opportunity to pursue it.”

Blinking, because _holy shit_ that little speech gave Tim more information about Damian then Damian usually gave Tim in a year (and _right_ Tim’s not the only one with a fucked up childhood), Tim eventually fumbles out, “lots of people don’t know how to cook, Dami.”

“Tt.I am not stupid.I _know_ the majority of people don’t know how to cook.I was a witness to Father’s latest ill-advised pancake fiasco.”

Tim snorts.“Yeah, it was pretty bad, wasn’t?”Dami doesn’t laugh but his eyes do sparkle.“Okay, how about this?I’ll teach you.”

“Drake, I do _not_ need your pi—”

“It’s not pity,” Tim says firmly.Damian rolls his eyes.“It’s not.I was thinking of make it anyways and it easy enough to learn.Actually, it’s the first thing I learned how to make.”

Damian eyes narrow.“What is it?”

“Crustless Quiche,” Tim easily replies as he exchanges the pot for a cast iron pan.“Come on, it’s easy enough to make.Grab some eggs and a bowl and we’ll get started.”

Still eyeing Tim suspiciously, Damian eventually enters the kitchen properly, pulling out a bowl and retrieving the eggs.Tim hums as he sees the requested items appear next to him.

“Alright, let's get _cracking_.” 

Damian blankly stares at Drake. 

“It’s a pun because we’re going to crack—you know what?Never mind.I’ve been spending too much time with Dick.Alright, let me show you how to do it then you can do the rest.”

So Damian carefully watches as Drake taps the eggs against the side of the bowl and pouring the contents of the eggs into the bowl.After demonstrating on two, Drake watches as Damian cracks the eggs.Drake nods encouragingly as Damian splits open the egg, dumping the whites and yolk into the bowl.

“You got it!Now you do the rest of them and I’ll start chopping veggies.You good with spinach?”

Nodding, Damian sets out to work, cracking all the eggs.Drake takes several trips to the fridge, pulling out different vegetables.By the time Damian is done, Drake has a small mountain of produce on the counter. 

“Okay, would you rather chop or mix?” Drake asks Damian.

There are many things in this world that Damian doesn’t like.School, homework, being benched is all minor irritations compared to being unsure in himself. _What would he rather do?Mix?Chop?Did he even really care?_

“Uhm—” Damian starts.

“How about you cut of the veggies?”Drake suggests.“I’ll do half and you do the other half.Sounds good?”

“That sounds, acceptable, Drake.”

“Well, I aim to be _acceptable_.”Drake teases as he passes Damian a cutting board and knife.“Now, I know you know how to use one of these, just try and cut the piece up into small, bit size pieces.All about the same size, okay?When you’re done, go ahead and put it in the bowl.”Drake points to the bowl that Damian had been cracking eggs into.

Nodding, Damian pulls over some broccoli and begins to chop into small pieces.After the broccoli, Damian chops the zucchini and an onion. 

It was peaceful, cooking with Drake.Unlike Grayson, who would insist upon chattering or Todd who would be trying to rile Damian up or Father who was always judging him.No, Drake was utterly content sitting in silence—except for the chopping sounds.

“Better be careful with that one,” Drake says, indicating the onion, “it’ll make you cry.”

“Tt, unlike you Drake I’m _not_ —”

“It’s a chemical reaction” Drake interrupts. “I can’t remember the ins and outs right off hand but yeah, it’ll make you cry if you're not careful.”

“Right,” Damian mutters, carefully cutting the onion.

“Right so I think that’s it for the veggies.You like Swiss?”

“What?”  
“Do you like Swiss cheese,” Drake repeats.

Contemplating the question for a moment, Damian cuts the last of the onion.“I think that Swiss would complement the spinach you cut up.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”Tim pulls out a bag of pre-shredded Swiss cheese.“Come on; it’s time for the fun part.”

 

Damian puts the last of the onion into the bowl while Drake turns on the stove.While waiting for the pan to get hot, Drake shows Damian how to mix all the veggies into eggs before adding cream.

Finally, Drake declares it is ready. 

“I’m not eating raw eggs.”Damian makes a face.“Again.”Damian had yet to forgive Todd for that little _dare_. 

“Course not.Trust me; nobody wants to go through that again.No, it's time to cook it all.”Drake grins at Damian who found himself almost smiling back.Almost.

Drake holds the bowl out for Damian.“Okay, Dami, here’s what I want you to do. Pour it into the pan then take this,” Drake hands Damian a spatula, “and start pushing everything around.”

The eggs sizzle when they hit the hot pan.Drake made sure everything got into the pan before taking the bowl away.While Damian did what Drake told him to do, shoving the bits of vegetables around, Drake cleans up.Damian kept a careful eye on the eggs; make sure not to burn them.

“And there we are,” Drake takes the spatula from Damian, dividing the food between two plates, “crustless quiche.”Drake hands one of the plates over along with a set of silverware.“Come on, Little D, we’ll go watch _The Princess Bride_ in the main living room.”

“You’re right Drake,” Damian says, following behind Drake, “you have been spending too much time with Grayson.”

Damian does not miss Drake’s snort.

An hour later, Damian is in a ball on the couch next to Tim, clean plates laid forgotten on the coffee table.And Tim is watching as Miracle Max explains that Westley is only mostly dead.

“Hey, B.How was patrol,” Tim asks without looking up from the screen.

“Quiet.”Bruce is looming over him, studying the situation.“What happened here?”  
“Ya know,” Tim yawns, “same old, same old.”

“Did you hurt your brother?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

Tim watches as Fred Savage’s character interrogates his Grandfather.“I hear Dami hasn’t taken the proper time to learn what it means to be a Robin.”

Bruce flinches.“That was…”

“An overreaction from an overly protective parent who doesn’t always know how to say ‘ _I love you, Dami.Quit scaring the living shit out of me_ ’,” Tim helpfully suggests.

“…Something like that, yes,” Bruce admits.

Tim hums. 

“What that,” Bruce asks, pointing to the empty plates.

“Dinner dishes.We had crustless quiche.”

There was a long pause.“You fed Damian _scrambled eggs_ for dinner.”

Tim hisses, "you never understood the joys of crustless quiche.” 

 


End file.
